NP Peer Helpers
Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Peer Helper?
Have you ever wanted to support and help a friend who is going through a tough time but do not know the proper way to help him/her? Peer helping could be something as simple as just being there to listen to your friend when they are upset about a test they didn’t do well in or when they were being misunderstood by someone else.
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Have you ever gone through a tough time, desperately wanting someone to hear you out? Sometimes, all we need is someone to listen. Why not be the one who approaches and helps them?
Most youths turn to their peers when they are in need of help, validation or guidance. Therefore, let’s learn about how we can effectively support our peers.
Yes, you're right! There are skills involved when you are trying to hear your friend out as well! Active listening is essential when you're trying to peer help your friend, and it is definitely important to educate yourselves on this.
How to show that you are actively listening? → SOLER Technique
Sit SQUARELY towards the helpee so that you do not appear imposing towards the person.
Maintain an OPEN posture at all times, don’t cross your hands or feet as it may come off as being defensive
LEAN forward slightly as it shows that you are interested in what the person has to say.
Maintain EYE CONTACT without staring
RELAX as this will make the person feel relaxed as well
This video shows how you can practice the SOLER technique when you're trying to actively listen to your peers! Can you spot the vast difference between Gallant and Xi Ning as they are trying to peer help their friend?
We should refrain from giving advice because:
1. The solution you give may not work for the other person even if it worked for you.
2. No one knows their situation better than them so we should only help them to find their own solutions
3. If your idea/advice fails, they might end up losing their trust in you and in peer helping and might even blame you
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4. Most of the time, instead of fixing their problems, all they need is someone to be there as a listening ear
What can you do instead of giving advice?
Pay close attention to them and their stories. Be open-minded and don’t judge or assume anything. Focus on their feelings by helping them to identify and express those feelings so they feel less alone. Check up on them frequently and assure them that you are there to listen.
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Use phrases such as:
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It sounds as if you’re feeling…
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It seems like you’re feeling…
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I wonder if you’re feeling…
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Does that make you feel…?
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When the safety of the peer helper, helpee or others are threatened, relevant authorities should be informed immediately. For example, if your helpee tells you that they have intentions to harm themselves or others, you should inform relevant authorities such as a counsellor, family members or the police.
Remember to always prioritise your own mental health first and not overly focus on others’ needs. Neglecting your own well-being may lead to moral distress, compassion fatigue, burnout, and poor decision making which could result in your helpee’s care being compromised too.
IG Story Activity
1. Now that you have learnt a few peer helping tips, do take part in our activity and tick the boxes of the correct statements.
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2. Once you are done with it, send your answers to us via Instagram DM. The template can be found in our story highlight.
3. Remember to post the empty template on your story and tag 3 friends to stand a chance to win our lucky draw! (The template can be found in our IG Story highlight :)
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*Take note that sending your answers to us via Instagram DM would count as your participation for this activity, so please include your name and Student ID when you send it to us! We will then reply you with the CODE for this activity.
Do look out for the correct answers which we will be posting on our IG story at the end of this event! (17 Oct)